Many gifted students suffer from the paralyzing neurosis of
perfectionism. Why is this and is there any way we can help them stop
this and ease up on themselves? Many bright students are so afraid of
failure that they won't take risks to try new things. They cry in
self-hatred if they get anything less than 100% on a test or paper. We
need to help them ease up on themselves and recognize excellence
without being so demanding for perfection that they continue to hurt themselves!
Books About Perfectionism
Clicking on any of these will go directly to the item on Amazon where
you can purchase them. If you buy the item in the same session you will be
also contributing to Metagifted as we are an affiliate with them.
Perfectionism
: What's Bad About Being Too Good
by Miriam
Adderholt-Elliott and Jan Goldberg
(re)published in July 1999
This is my favorite book on the topic of perfectionism that I have
read so far. I highly recommend this one!! When I was first in
graduate school (1990 - so this must be a republication) and extremely
perfectionistic myself, this little book helped me IMMENSELY to
overcome the intensity and tone it down to where I could accept
myself. I learned to prioritize and put the appropriate amount of
effort into things. The book presents it in a fun and understandable
way - so much that they list this book as a children's book - Well, I
think it would be good for any readers.
When
Perfect Isn't Good Enough : Strategies for Coping with
Perfectionism
by Martin M. Antony, Richard P. Swinson
published December 1998
Offers a step-by-step program of
coginitive-behavioral strategies for overcoming perfectionism. Talks a
lot about what perfectionism is. Some very good reviews and one very
negative review. It's apparently a combination textbook and self help
workbook. A reviewer on Amazon recommends it for mental health
professionals.
The
Care and Feeding of Perfectionists
by Cynthia Curnan,
published March 1999
This one received outstanding reviews on
Amazon. Apparently she gives many insights and suggestions and talks
from experience. She also lists 9 types of perfectionists and talks
about how they all come from the same root need for power and
control. Offers practical advice. I would recommend based on what I've
read about it.
Fighting
Invisible Tigers : A Stress Management Guide for Teens
y
Earl Hipp, Michael Fleishman (Illustrator), published June 1995
The author, Earl Hipp Emai:
Ehipp@HRD-INC.com writes about his book -
Kids need to understand this part of living!
I wrote this book to help young people understand
what was going on "inside" when the were at the
limits of their ability to cope
with their world. They will learn about the
"normal" feelings, physical symptoms, and other
indicators that a person is living too
close to the edge. I also describe both long term
(life skills)and short term strategies for being
stress resilient. There is a great middle
section that talks about what to do with "tiger
bites," what you can do RIGHT NOW if you are
feeling stressed out and don't know
where to turn. 160,000 happy customers can't be
wrong, this is THE book for adolescents on the
subject. Contact me with any
questions and thanks for caring about the kids in
your life. (written July 1998) This book is
listed as children's (young adult) book, but
again is probably appropriate for everybody.
Overcoming
Perfectionism : The Key to Balanced Recovery
by Ann W. Smith,
published
September 1990
"Do you have to be perfect to lead a healthy life?
Ann Smith discusses how perfectionism may have benefits but is
ultimately an
obstacle to quality living as it prevents
intimacy and lowers self-esteem. This book offers
practical hints to letting go of your
superhuman syndrome and being imperfect." (Book
Synopsis on Amazon"
The
Art of the Possible : The Path from Perfectionism to Balance and
Freedom
by Alexandra Stoddard, published October 1996
"Stoddard tackles the subject of demanding self-perfection, explaining
how real joy and a stress-free live can only be obtained when
individuals stop demanding perfection from
themselves and others. Many case history examples
and first-person insights are shared in
Stoddard's exploration of the path to freedom."
(from Midwest Book Review)
Never
Good Enough : How to Use Perfectionism to Your Advantage
Without Ruining Your Life
by Monica
Ramirez, Phd Basco, published March
2000
"Dr. Basco helps you understand why you
feel driven to get things "just right" and shows
you how to make the
best of your perfectionism. Filled with practical
advice, encouragement, and strategies for
self-discovery, this invaluable guide includes
Dr. Basco's own thirty-question self-test that
will help you recognize and manage the negative
side of your perfectionism. You will
learn how to stop the struggle with yourself and
others, how to evaluate your worth and
performance in life, and how to replace the
pursuit of perfection with peace of mind."
(Amazon book description). A reader reviewer says
it is easy to understand for the layman.
Too
Perfect : When Being in Control Gets Out of Control
by Allan E. Mallinger, Jeannette Dewyze
published
July 1993
"Mallinger insists that trading our competitive society's
obsession with excellence for more realistic goals is the key to a
saner, healthier
life and offers obsessives hope and help to keep
from being stranded in a mire of
obsessive-compulsive behavior." (from Amazon
synopsis) Also talks about obsessive
personalities in general.
The
Gifted Kids Survival Guide : A Teen Handbook
by Judy
Galbraith, James R. Delisle, Pamela Espeland (Editor), Jim
Delisle
published October 1996
"Written with help from hundreds
of gifted teenagers, The Gifted Kids' Survival Guide is the ultimate
guide to surviving and thriving in
a world that doesn't always value, support, or
understand high ability. Full of surprising
facts, step-by-step strategies, and practical
how-tos, and inspiring quotations, featuring
insightful essays contributed by gifted young
people and adults, The Gifted Kids' Survival
Guide gives the gifted young reader the tools
needed to understand their giftedness, accept it
as an asset, and use it to make the most of
who and what they are. Of special value is the
section on dealing with a troubled gifted
youngster contemplating suicide, how to be
"net smart" and have safe, fun online relations,
and how to handle teen angst." (from Midwest Book
Review)
I have used the book for children ages 10 and under by the same
authors and I think it is incredibly good. I imagine this would be
just as useful.